Monday, January 27, 2014

Building Together

We do have the potentials to make better best use of talents to build up our society together.

We want to expand our societal potentials, don't we? We want to have more friends and more wisdom in our lives, isn't it? We want to exert our wills independently without prejudice to the furthest frontiers we can reach, right? We seek out for higher aspirations in life together. Shutting out one person, just because of who s/he is or deemed to be, hurts the potentials of not just herself, but the community and society that she is in.

It is apparent to me each and every one of us have our gifts and talents, and together, we can build the place we live in for a better and stronger home.

I ask that we build a more caring and gracious society that is most nurturing and supportive of different abilities.

I can assure you with more affirmative encouragement in society, we will definitely be much better than what we are today. We can have a richer and wealthier society. We shall see more capable accountants, lawyers, artists, musicians, graphic designers, animators, and a myriad of different professionals and talents in our society, making us more diverse, vibrant and creative as a whole.

Only through meshing and blending of different abilities together, then we will see more friends, more resources for us all together, and a more sustainable society that will benefit all of us together.

We should focus, instead, on the gifts we can bring to our society.

Tuesday, January 7, 2014

Be positive :)

My parents are Traditional Chinese Medicine practitioners. They work all day and night for my living, so I think. Then I realize they have a few clients who have autism.

I hear from their parents; yes, parents, those who pay for alternative treatment and therapies for their children, they want their children to be 'cured' from autism. I know something is not right. Then I ask my parents, and they say I had been cured from autism, and I should not even think of this term.

Autism is not a negative label in its actuality. It is what it is - a medical diagnosis by a psychologist or psychiatrist. 

We only determine our value of life. It applies to people with autism, as well as people not on the Autism Spectrum - or, should I say, neurotypicals/NTs?

We may overcome many obstacles in life. Like not feeling comfortable with our surroundings. Or maybe not being able to be employed or have a steady relationship and live alone from parents, like what Eric Chen said as 'the Triad of Normality'. Or perhaps, not being able to control whatever we want, or not want, to function socially and verbally, even with the best of our efforts.

However, the lowest of troughs will eventually make the feeling of reaching the peaks of life more of a triumph. To reach the peaks, we have to put in effort, but we will never reach the peaks unless we have the intense focus to reach the top. It takes real hard work and dedication to reach there. To me, reaching the summit requires more than just relentless pursuit of success, it also means maintaining high spirits to keep pushing harder, make our hearts stronger, with more perseverance and resilience. 

And nothing brings more lasting power than a positive attitude at all times, at least, in my opinion.

I will probably not follow my parents' footsteps as even someone who may mislead my clients into thinking 'he will treat my child's autism'. I will, however, do my best to inspire fellow Auties and Aspies to be our awesome selves, and to keep the spirits of us and our parents high. 

This is why I will not see myself as a Traditional Chinese Practitioner or someone who may 'cure' autism, at least, for now. I hope I can not only think positively, but to inspire others like me to be optimistic with our outlook in life, too.

Monday, January 6, 2014

The Truth Shall Keep You Unemployed

If you were an Aspie, would you rather be unemployed all the time speaking the truth and being yourself, than to be sacked all the time and maybe be smeared for not revealing your autism to unsuspecting HR managers who did not do due diligence? Put it this way, should people with autism have 'integrity' to do 'the right thing', when odds are stacked against them?

Sunday, January 5, 2014

Jobs, Autism and others in between

People tell me not to reveal my autism diagnosis when I apply for jobs, for it gives me unequal (presumably lower) playing grounds with others. I agree with their view, for I think it is negatively perceived as something which means, you can't handle something fast and good, you can't take pressure, you take medications - all of which I have to admit, with much patience and opportunities, do not happen to me now or in the future.

I would rather be sacked if they discover my autism, or put it this way, promoted slower than others do, than to be unemployed because I have autism. They can, and should, legally and morally do so. They can claim I have 'no integrity', because I had not fully disclosed my full diagnosis if they need it. They can use their high workload to disclaim themselves from liabilities, if I incurred some legal liabilities on the course of employment between me and those employers.

However, I shall persist in not telling people I have autism. I have more than autism. I have gifts and talents I can bring to any company. Autism is just part, not the entirety of, my being. But it's treated like as if Autism=Me. Then are they missing out of the full part of me, and are they getting the best out of what I have?

Saturday, January 4, 2014

We should never even consider curing autsim

Let me be honest here:

I am anti-cure to the max.


I know the consequences of cure. I know. I have to, if I have to hustle and survive. 


My elder sister is a pediatrician while my parents are alternative medical practitioners. I am like the black sheep of my family. Curing autism will be the easy way out for them. They will be happy if they know there are more perfect genes for them to use, so that they can possibly add one more doctor to the world, and maybe both higher incomes and socioeconomic statuses to brag about every family gathering.


It is highly likely possible that when a cure is available, there will also be a genetic test for all mothers, similar to those used to detect Down's Syndrome and other genetic defects. Those babies with autism will definitely be aborted.


I thought God brought us autism so that He could teach us to love Him unconditionally, to be more loving in our lives, and to share and care for our child and others even more? 


Then I ask the mothers and fathers for the children: are you even ready to have a child in the first place? Do you really love the child as s/he is, or the possible future monies he gives you when you're old? (This is particularly true for Asians, for reasons we know too well). Do you love her as she is?


Listen, I do not want to have children because I fear she has autism. I am not even looking for a partner. I fear that my child will not have a brighter future than I do, and I don't know when the sufferings will end. Plus, there are too many babies born in my country right now. That's why she may has no future, why bring suffering to her?


If you want to support cures for autism, and you happen to be on the Autism Spectrum, it is fine with me. There is a difference between improving our social functioning or reducing our tics to feel better interacting with others (which most Aspies will immediately say 'yay', including me), and totally removing those autism genes from gene pool. If you want to 'kill' yourself and 'end sufferings' by wishing for that Autism cure, you probably will find it useful to go to Watts or West Auckland, so that you can be closer to violent crime, if you don't recognize how sacred life can be.


If you want to see your money literally washing down the drain with Autism Speaks, where one-third goes to line the rich directors' pockets, another third goes around to spread how 'useless' we Aspies and Auties are, and the last third to find the cure on Autism, then this is the epitome of dumbness. It is only fine with me, it only shows that you probably can't think better. Humanity has the propensity to waste money on useless crap anyway, like buying a house with a large-ass store room you seldom use.


(Note: If you want to stop the cure, you are probably better off supporting sports and recreational clubs for Aspies and Auties, at least this keeps them happy and healthy).


Curing autism, or avoiding people with autism, means that we are not willing to accept others unconditionally in our lives, let alone some helpless being waiting for your hugs and kisses. Even if there are cures, which I hope will not happen, I hope they are of a voluntary nature.


Given my intuition, though, this will never happen!

Thursday, January 2, 2014

Is it really hard to connect with fellow Asian Aspies?

I feel frustrated not being able to talk to fellow Asians about autism. I feel inept. But allow me to write how I feel.

I already tried many times harder than the typical people. Do I really have to put in many times more the effort to better 'support' fellow Asian Aspies, as an Asian Aspie myself?


From my experiences with the handful of Asians I know, one told me that Asian Aspies are generally well supported, through equal opportunities and effective legislation. Hence, they may not need an Aspie forum for 'help'. This may be true in Philippines (great for them, even as they recover from Yolanda and all that), Hong Kong and Japan, but from what I know, this is not true throughout Asia.


True, in my experience, Aspies in Brunei, Indonesia, Thailand and even China are not as discriminated as much as they experienced in other countries, possibly because they have strong family (and religious) bonds with one another, and they have the culture of love from what I and my Aspie friends went through in these countries. 


However, they may not be able to share their experiences, because of rules in forums as below,

"For the benefit of everyone being able to understand and for the purpose of moderating, languages other than English are not allowed."


Much as I am not too supportive of this rule, I understand that the founders of most autism forum sites are British or Americans, and English is the most widely used language globally. So this rule must stand for the foreseeable future.


Also, some conflict of interest disclaimer: I joined a few Chinese Aspie forums in the past. The Aspie posters are as mature as the people on Western forums, so I have no issues with them. Just feel that the language rule means for the foreseeable future, we may not really 'expand' there.


Also, I am not too sure with South Asian Aspies. True, probably there are a few tens (maybe hundreds) of thousand South Asian Aspies there who can use English proficiently, and they do have an Aspie forum (especially in India). I may even join the site to 'fish' for a few Aspies. I will try, even though I am of East Asian descent. But I wonder whether we will be ready for more Aspies from South Asia especially. Anyway, this is not my biggest concern.


--- --- ---


The biggest issue I deal with is not South Asian Aspies. I am more than happy with them.


I am also confident in most Southeast Asian Aspies, they can find their way here.


Only with my native country.


Come on. Singapore.


And Malaysia, too.


I hear nothing but complaints from these two countries. 


Authoritarian. No welfare. Racial and religious discrimination.


It makes even Alabama look more supportive of people with autism, even Asian Aspies. At least America guarantees civil rights for all.


--- --- ---


I would like to move to Alabama because I wish I can talk to more people about Autism. Given that I love college football, I feel I can immediately settle there with fewer issues than if I do settle in many other places.


There are more people living in Singapore speaking and writing English than Alabama, adjusting for those who only know Chinese and other non-English languages/dialects. Yet, there are far more users in Alabama than in Singapore. Not that I did not do my best to promote the forum sites I stated above. I feel I am working so hard and yet, very few NTs come. I try to work around obstacles. Don't I go to roadshows to autism organizations, autism schools, universities etc. and promote the strengths of autism to my fellow countrymen?


Sigh, that's why I feel I have to work a lot more harder to even reach out to my country's people, than the Aspies as a whole around the world. It saps my confidence.

Wednesday, January 1, 2014

I confess

I confess:

I have some issues with my family, my society, and much more.

I have unemployment issues and much more problems of a personal nature, especially dealing with stresses in life. Let me just share a few.

I am unemployed. I am at a loss. My family asks me to do something I don't enjoy doing, and excluded out, like medicine or accounting. The stuff I enjoy doing have no 'foreseeable employable future' for now, like geography. Oh, why...?  

I worry I could not support my family. Even if I do not fulfill my responsibilities (which I am more than willing to take up, even when no one tells me to), I know my country has little provision for my family. And my parents may be victims of their successes thus far. My two elder sisters are working professionals, they can buy whatever they want and possibly support my sister. But then again, eventually, there will be a day when we accept that Asian paternalistic structure fails in our case; as me, the only son of the family, is expected to shoulder all family responsibilities for my family, even though I am less able to provide for my family than my sisters. Especially more so, as there is a numerus null clause in employment for the civil service in Singapore and, by extension, major corporations in Singapore providing sustainable jobs to support my family. I mean, no Aspies are allowed to be employed. We will have to accept this some day, and adjustment would be painful.

Then my society. I hear nothing from employers other than 'people with autism can only do backroom jobs', especially and particularly parents of people with autism. Then they go around and parade wherever they go, whenever they can, and say they are 'proud' of their children who have 'run 10km every day', eat '2 eggs' and 'butter', and most important of all, 'look strong so that they won't get bullied' suggesting that I look 'boyish'. You know very well that you must work in Singapore to survive. Indeed, most of us Aspies will have to resort to work like robots and slaves, out of sight, out of touch. Why can't we contribute to our societies fully with dignity, like perhaps working as doctors or lawyers?

And then, there is no place in the world where people are treated equally, and people are given opportunities to explore themselves. If there are such places, we'll definitely move there in an instant...